Mick Hartley

The Footie

Written by

Mick Hartley

in

yself after a Saturday afternoon in January watching Doncaster Rovers.

* Football’s a team game. It’s not just about individual effort. Yes, the Olympics do have a few team games, but they’re silly ones like curling or hockey.

* I am second to none in my anti-anti-Americanism. Great country and all that. Where would we be without them? But I can’t help seeing it as a plus that the US basically don’t give a shit about football. I can imagine a number of alternative worlds – where the Nazis won the Second World War; where Iran had a Zoroastrian woman president; where string theory made sense – but imagining a world where the US are soccer-crazy: nope, can’t do it.

* Um, that’s about it. Iran have just equalised! Must get back to my seat in front of the telly.

Comments

  1. dearieme Avatar
    dearieme

    “Can anyone doubt that the World Cup’s the best sporting contest in the world?” Me. I saw a Scotland vs England Quoits international as a lad: knocks the World Cup for six.

    Reply
  2. dearieme Avatar
    dearieme

    Talking of “six”, the last Ashes series. So there’s two events that were better.

    Reply
  3. Sluggo Avatar
    Sluggo

    I agree that soccer will never be big in the states. We’d have to be good at it for it to be popular and to be good at a sport there has to be a national need for it. It has to satisfy a specific national characteristic. On those occasions when we want to watch people in skimpy togs bustle around pointlessly, we have beach vollyball.
    Arf. Just kidding. Seriously, it’s easy to see rugger and soccer playing to the same audience, but baseball and soccer will never reside in the same heart.
    And a nation that will watch qoits will watch anything.

    Reply
  4. dearieme Avatar
    dearieme

    But Quoits encompasses the interesting bit of Grid-Iron – i.e. the accurate tossing of an object – without the boring bits.

    Reply
  5. Sluggo Avatar
    Sluggo

    The US just got pantsed by the Czechs. What non-ethnic interest there was for the WC here will be all but gone by tomorrow.
    I don’t think it’s the theatrical quality of the violence in soccer that puts off Yanks. After all, most of us would recognize that getting into a badminton game with a Dane or Indonesian is virtual suicide. It’s probably the fact that there are no refrigerator breaks so you have to line your beers up beside you before the match and replenish them at half-time. We like it cold.
    I’ve no doubt that competition level quoits requires skills that are rare. It’s just that there seems to be no possibility of violence. Even darts has you holding a sharp object.

    Reply
  6. P. Froward Avatar
    P. Froward

    Never got beaned with a quoit, eh?

    Reply
  7. John Barr Avatar
    John Barr

    Darts, now there’s a man’s game. One Hundred and Eighty!!!

    Reply
  8. Linda Evans Avatar
    Linda Evans

    Scotland Vs Wales quoits competitions still occur annually, hosted alternately by each nation. The 2006 competition will be held in Prestwick, Ayrshire on 29th July. If you’re looking for something after the footie’s done and dusted……………

    Reply

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