The Best Quality Marble

Statue-wise every town in Yugoslavia used to have its enormous Titos. How times change:

A life-size marble statue of the former glamour model Samantha Fox is to be erected in Serbia after she agreed to sing at a pop festival.

Locals in the southern Serb town of Cacak raised the money to show the 1980s model turned pop star how delighted they are about her visit. Obrad Banovic, a fan, said: “We love her. She is an authentic sex symbol of the 1980s, so why shouldn’t we have a monument to her. Other towns have their heroes in parks, so why can’t we?

“We are also aware that her most famous attributes may require special treatment, so we are planning on using the best quality marble only.”