usic in the background) Magna Carta, the Long Parliament, the Glorious Revolution, defeating foreign tyrants where’er they raise their heads… Other countries at the start of these big tournament matches have their sinews stiffened with proper military-style tunes, with the players clutching fists over hearts, eyes staring up with patriotic fervour, inspired to give their all for their country. And we get send her victorious, happy and glorious. It’s a f**king joke is what it is.
Anyway, God Save The Queen is the anthem for the UK, not England. She’s the queen of the United Kingdom. [Why not the United Queendom, I wonder?] How pathetic that we can’t even sort out an English national anthem as opposed to a UK one. Is it a sign of English arrogance, equating England with the UK? If so it’s not something, from what I gather, that the Scots or Welsh take any offence over, and it’s easy to understand why not.
What are the options? Well, there’s Land of Hope and Glory. Rousing, yes, but a little too, um, brash and jingoistic somehow. Though if you can’t be rousingly jingoistic when you sing your national anthem, when can you be? Then there’s Jerusalem. I’d go for this myself, though I’m not at all keen on the Blakean mysticism. I mean, I quite like a spot of industrialisation, and as with all utopian visions I can’t help but wonder if there’d be a place for me in the new Jerusalem. Then again it’s an odd national anthem that titles itself on a foreign city. As if the Danes had a national anthem called Cairo. Would we need to get permission from the Israelis and Palestinians? But all in all the sheer glory of the words are inspirational, even if we can disagree about what they’re an inspiration for. Bring me my bow of burning gold…bring me my arrows of desire… That would stiffen up the sinews.
Any other possibilities? In an English Country Garden? The anthem of our opponents draws to a close: something triumphal like the Marseillaise, or Deutschland Uber Alles (or whatever words they sing to it nowadays: yeah right, we know what those bastards are really thinking). Then silence, some cheering from the crowd, then….How many kinds of swee-eet flowers gro-ow, in an English country ga-ar-den.. Later, the English fans roar out their chants…..Daffodils, heart’s ease and phlox. Meadowsweet and lady smocks. Oh well, maybe not.
Mad Dogs and Englishmen? Highly appropriate for the sweltering semi-tropical hell-holes where many of these tournaments are played, but the slightly camp tone might not be generally welcomed.
No, I reckon Jerusalem is the best chance of inspiring our brave lads in the next World Cup.
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