Chance would be a fine thing. From the Onion:
Terrorist cells in Baghdad are in mourning for suicide bomber Ahmed al-Khalaf, 19, who was killed by a car bomb Monday, 200 yards from an Iraqi police station, his intended target.
Sources within the insurgency said al-Khalaf was “on his way to becoming a glorious martyr” when he was struck down by the car-bomb explosion. Twenty-three other civilians were also killed.
“What kind of God allows the death of people who are on their way to kill innocent people?” insurgent leader Abdulwahid al-Tomizie said. “On the one hand, I am elated that the car-bomb explosion was successful, but the loss of the suicide bomber is a tragedy, as is the survival of all the innocent people he might have killed.”
According to al-Tomizie, al-Khalaf could have killed as many as 40 innocent people, had his life not been cut short.
“It is tragic that al-Khalaf died seven minutes sooner than he intended,” said Hassan Abdul Aziz, leader of a local cabal of Sunni separatists. “To think that he was just yards from his intended target. Our thoughts and prayers are with his terrorist cell.”
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